Live is short just whatever u want!

Shifting

2010-01-05T01:50:00.001+08:00

New Year! New Blog!
http://intheshoesofadeline.wordpress.com/

Prayer

2009-12-09T15:40:00.001+08:00

God I pray for courage!!

Thank god for friends

2009-12-07T00:21:00.002+08:00

I really thank god that I have such good people about me. Although I never really had people to depend on meaning my parents or family. However I always had good friends. Everytime, my friendship would end in ugliness, but they do come back. I thank god once again for friends. If not i would never be who i am now. :)

Scream at me!

2009-11-30T12:36:00.002+08:00

I really hope its not me. I cross my fingers pray to god that that person she is talking about is not me. I really do not know what i did. Why are u suddenly repelling me. WHy are you not talking to me. Scream! tell me what your thinking. Resolve it now. Stop talking about me behind my back because i can hear everything. SCREAM at me straight in my face, at least that way I know you want to resolve things. Not saying it just means you do not ever want to be related and it is making me feel like an outcast. I hate you for making my life miserable! I hate myself for being not likeable..........

I hate myself!

2009-11-19T23:33:00.003+08:00

I really hate myself. I feel like i do not even know how to be a nice person. I cannot even be honest with my friends. I have so many things in life to hide. I keep wanting people not to hate me, not wanting to offend people i end up doing it. I really hate living. My life is so constipated. I hated living since my nightmare started at 10. I'm such an insecure person. Nowadays I am going to talk less, say less and comment less. I know you people hate me, you don't need to pretend because I am feeling it.

Not knowing who you are...

2009-09-14T02:54:00.002+08:00

Today I was trying to choreograph the duet, previously i was trying to choreograph this group piece. I never used to be the best in class or in anything. I dated nd fallen out of love. I want to wait but then I never knew what I was waiting for.

Is quite sad actually. At 22years old turning 23 in another half a year, I realise I do not know who or what I want to be. What kind of image do I want, what do i want people to think of me. That is a problem. I'm messy but I do not like people commenting on my messiness. I await an answer from a guy I like and then at the same time I want to give myself choices. A lot of times I try to explain myself I cut myself short because I suddenly realise I do not know what I am talking about. I am constantly feeling the sense of loss.

I always have this great plans, great ideas but they never seem to pull through. And thats why I think I am facing problems choreographing, choosing paths in life and finding an identity. When I choreograph I have an idea, then inspirations comes and i end up with a lot of ideas in one story. Its almost like if I write a story I would want the girl to die, then maybe to add drama i give her a bit of sickness, to add even more I have 10 people surrounding her, to add more I make her cough blood and die with a lot of spasms before. Then I lose my main focus of the story.

I also realise that i do a lor of things now and before because people says i am good at it. Like dancing was one of it, I did ballet when i was young I danced ballet then at 13 i stopped ballet totally because I felt I was no good a dancer but I had potential in gym. There after to distract myself from depression I took up dance again. I felt that I was good and people said i had potential so I studied dance, since i was not good at studying. Now I am giving a shot at choreography because some friends tells me that I might had potential. I know I am not good at choreograhping, teaching or dancing. So why do I dance. Because others think i should?

So my question now is who do I want to be? What do I want in live? What kind of acheivement? I'm sick and tired of wanting the best of both worlds because i never know what i want. I'm tired of always confusing myself with all this ideas. To be a better person and better dancer and choreographer I need to know who and what i want to be.

P.S All this thoughts from watching Runaway Bride!

Crossroads

2009-06-16T01:33:00.002+08:00

I'm like stuck on the spot and I dunnoe where to go. Stupid SDT never reply to my email, i don't even get an audition date! I asked for the status of my resume and i do not get a reply! What do I do now?! Stuck until something happens

Church is the same for me. I'm catholic, now i am attending a christian church. Afraid to change because of issues like grandparents, and I feel like I should go back to help the church. Love to stay at christian church because it is helping me more in my personal growth. So where do I go, again Stuck!! Haiz....

I really want to dance ballet but there are so little options should i really consider going overseas... is there hope?

Resume for SDT

2009-06-03T01:46:00.002+08:00

Yes....Adeline has finally plucked up enough courage to send her resume to SDT. NOw I'm waiting for the date *Cross my fingers*. I'm thinking what if i do not make it then what do I do. Should i go overseas to audition but i can't really afford it. BUt if I do not try i'll just be stuck to THE doing unpaid jobs. Is not that is bad but I need to paid.

Oh well..

I went shopping with Xiao Xiao so fun!! We always end up buying the same things although I tried to pick another colour but I end up picking the same one. (Xiao Xiao I still thinking about the dress!) but I reach my limit le so no more spending for me this month. Haha. Yeah tmr and saturday i'm clubbing with Xiao xiao and I dunnoe what to wear???

Greatness

2009-05-31T22:58:00.003+08:00

Greatness can be a rather shallow term, in contradiction to achieve greatness you cannot be shallow.

Some people are meant to do great things
Some people meet opportunities to become great but they turn it away
Some people Is killing themselve to become great.

SO what is it about being great that people fight over for? Is having great wealth, great fame, great popularity necessarily a good thing?........

Anna Karenina Auditions

2009-05-26T00:59:00.002+08:00

Yeah Yeah Yeah!! I made it into anna karenina!Woo Hoo! I get to dance on the big stage. Not really dancing but yeah! Tmr or later...I get to gawk at all the amazing dancers that are coming.

Actually I could tell there were too many female although we were less in numbers. As usual they needed more guys. Initially there were not enough guys to cast for the show. So the ballet master changed it to female roles. Suddenly a bunch of males appeared. So some of the girls were opt out. There were the roles of the country girl taken by Tina. Two ladies at the prom taken by two caucasians. Plus for servants me and another 3. Thus, when the guys came in the servant roles went back to the guys. I thought ok thats it, oh well actually i was hoping i wouldn't get it so I would not have to cancel class at the studio. He said he still needed one more servant and he has only kept me. I was like ??? LOL. I'm not exactly a big build person so I'm wondering how I am going to fit in the costume. There was another girl that was taller then me. Haha maybe I loo closest to a guy!! Whatever la at least I got a role! I'm so excited! I can't wait to gawk at the dancers tomorrow!!

Audition!

2009-05-21T13:47:00.002+08:00

Yeah Jennifer from NAC called me today. I AM SHORTLISTED FOR ANNA KARENINA! YEAH! I can go audition. I hope i make it haha! even if I am just a tree at least it will look good in my resume. I wonder what audition would be like....I can't wait to see all these good dancers woohoo! After that I will audition for SDT I'm just being a coward! I'm Scared! Okay now i'm going to send in my resume and see how...*cross my fingers*

First time drunked

2009-05-16T02:27:00.002+08:00

I am not going to imagine what happened on the dance floor all the explicit description given to me by densie and dada was enough to make my mind run wild. I feel *****. Whatever I have no memory of it at all. I'm sorry dada and xiao xiao for all the trouble. I didn't know i was so troublesome!! I didn't even remember i drank vodka cranberry.

Getting drunk feels rather scary...I woke up the next day and realise I could not even remember a thing. At all, I had vague images of myself falling in front of Double O' but thats it! I can't remember anything! It was even scarier hearing the details my god! it was like i was possesed by something. Actually to think back I suddenly blackout in my head the last image I remembered was drinking tequilla at the bar...

Lesson learnt... make sure ur guy friends are with you trustworty people that can hold me bacl.LOL. Secondly, Do not, DO NOT EVER EVER DRINK ON AN EMPTY STOMACH! the rumor is true! Lastly, don't go home! Go sleep over at your friends place!

Adventure of a graduate

2009-05-11T02:13:00.002+08:00

It has been 1 week since I have officially graduate. What am I doing? Nothing! LOL. It is a choice not a situation. I am feeling that I have committing my time so much to dance that I never had time to slow down. I do not know what I missed but I lost many things along the way. Some I still can return to some I lost it forever.

Hence, my reason to be wasting my time! I went clubbing with Alison, Sam, Kayson, My sis and her gf. Alison, Sam and Kayson on two nights! woo hoo! THe following day I went to play pool. My weekends I spent at SOTA having rehearsals with T.H.E. I had fun. Most importantly I am doing things I had to give up to dance.Oh and I went back to church today. The ambience felt weird, maybe it is also because I am an extremely concious person, and super sensetive but whatever its just not right anymore.

Things I want to do within the month of may"
1) I want to go to the Zoo!
2) Watch a movie
3) Holiday
4) Massage
5) Go to the science park
6) Get back to religion

Gambeteh and have fun!!!

Graduation

2009-05-03T04:24:00.002+08:00

I have been awaiting for this day, but when this day reached I do not know what I should do tomorrow. Although, I know that tomorrow I have Swee boon's class, but I am lost in what I should then do from here. I had a great grad show, people offered me a lot of teaching jobs which I do not crave. I want to audition for SDT but i have no guts. I need to build courage to step into that room. I am also with T.H.E youth company, should i stick to it or audition SDT. MY ballet is not great, my facilities are not fantastic. So at the moment I am feeling a sense of lost. I should just go enjoy my next new phrase in life, scary but that's life.

1) I need to go to the cinema to watch a movie, I haven't watch one since I do not know when

2) I want to go sun tanning

3) I want to cut my hair

4) I want to go back to church which i also have no courage to do

5) I want to go for a break

6) I need my social life back (LOL)

I am just going to take it a step at a time. DOn't worry I do have plans I give myself until after Tari

Bumping in

2009-04-25T03:30:00.002+08:00

Haiz...1 show down 4 more to go! After still:moving take 2 today tammy said your show must be at this standard ok. In my heart I was thinking were level 3s leh we should be better not only the same what. She always look down on us. I really hate level 3 thank god i'm graduating. It is the worst year ever! I heard my choreo! I hate my thesis! I hate school! I hate myself! Aiyar dunnoe how Audacity of Hope will be but I think I need a break now.

I dunnoe if this I dun care what the hell happens is a good attitude or bad. Brian ask me if tmr the animation or the pulley dun work then how? I just said remove lor! Eugene asked me about what i want for light whatever la doesn't matter. I use to be a bitch about my choreo, but why do i not care anymore. After this semester I really dislike choreographing. I cannot seem to think properly through the whole process. Same goes for my thesis la. I get lost in my thoughts. I can' tseem to write what I think haiz....

Audacity of hope must be better then still :moving, It will be and it should be cause were level 3s

ps: its almost over!

Stressed, stress and stressing

2009-02-21T11:00:00.002+08:00

OMG!! I feel so stressed out, stupid datelines, stupid! I have so much work to do my gosh, and it never ends. I haven't finish thesis, I haven't finish choreo, I haven't rest enough, not dancing enough! faint.....

I can feel my ballet technique slowly slipping away....:(
What to do no $$$$$!!!!!!!

Life without $$$ sucks!

Stupid THesis!

2009-02-16T01:36:00.002+08:00

OMG! I have like 6 more hours to complete the whole thesis! And I'm not even half done, I'm now doing the second part of ballet russe. HELP!
THis whole week i can only think about thesis and nothing else not counting the horrible things that i am facing last week and my stupid choreograph. I shouldn't choreograph anymore... Seriously i'm too stressed out! HELP!

Ok back to work! HAPPY BELATED VALETINE'S DAY!!!

Taking a new leap in life

2009-02-08T13:46:00.002+08:00

I just left Cheng as a Scholar!. BOO / YEAH! I'm yet to find out. I'm just so scared cause now I feel my life is tipped out of balance and me being lack of confidence is not trusting herself to take this leap. There is no turning back so i can only move forward! I seriously need to set a goal i believe in. Now i don't even feel like joining swee boon. I want to join SDT right so i must find a way to squeal into SDT but how? I don't even know if i can do that. With technique half past six seriously now I know its no way! I'm going to give myself till school ends and see how i feel with Swee Boon if after that I still dying to join SDT I would just try and leave Swee BOon maybe..................Good Luck to me!

Fucked up first day of school!

2009-01-05T22:10:00.002+08:00

Okay i'm cool that i'm in Intermediate contemporary but seriously i'm in Intermediate Ballet is RIDICULOUS!! No offence to those in the advance class but seriously i just feel the whole system is FUCKED! Its CORRUPTED!!. BUt really since our class has already experienced so much shit from the past i deserve a peaceful ending to my life in Lasalle. What can I do now? NOthing!I can only do my best and just let this fuck people screw up my school year! I'm already sick of school! Now i wish i never came back! FUCK!

The Ballerina Dream

2008-08-11T00:30:00.002+08:00

LOL!!! The title is already making my toes laugh. Most of my life i spent telling people how much i dislike ballet. Now in reverse I like ballet. I'm amazed at myself haha. I actually am quite determined to go to Orlando for the World Ballet Competition. I know I am not up to the standard, but I know if my determination comes I can succeed. I remember during Primary 6 i failed my chinese all the time, I always got F9. My teacher encouraged and helped me. I was so touched by her sincerity , I told her i will definitly get an A for Chinese. During the various test and exams I kept scoring better but only stopped at a B. To yours' and mine surprise I scored A for Chinese during PSLE.

The other incident i remembered was when I first took up Hip Hop at LADC. I was the worse Hip Hop dancer anyone could imagine. But later I soon learnt the steps and got the groove within 3 months. Although I won't say I'm an expert now, but at least I managed it.

I think i'm the kind that dance better when i'm angry. So this time I will proof Lao Shi wrong. Proof to him that i'm not just dreaming of the competiton. Proof to myself that I'm worth something!!! I will proof you wrong!!

You Are Ballet

You are quite introverted. You enjoy keeping to yourself and cultivating your talents.

You are dedicated and focused. If practice makes perfect, you're willing to keep practicing.

While some people may dismiss you as boring, you can be quite edgy and interesting.

You can fit in almost anywhere... and your style ranges from conservative to funky.

What Dance Are You?

Dreaming to be a superstar!!

2008-07-16T23:23:00.002+08:00

OMg Hsien Fa Lao Shi is giving me a lot of unnecessary stress that i do not want to manage.LOL or maybe i'm givng myself unnecessary stress. First it was " Adeline your the only one wearing a tiara, you better look good" 2. " Your the only one wearing Tutu you better look good" 3. " what fifth position is that!" 4. " You have such a nice body you better dance well". Really sometimes just thinking of it freaks me out. I want to win something, I have to win something. How can I get my body to work with my brain!. I think of the legs I forget the arms, i think of my arms I forget my legs. I really wonder if there is a brain training exam. My gosh ! and I hate it when he says your so stupid, or "your just slow. I'm not STUPID!!! Okay! but I still enjoy learning under him. He makes it challenging and painful but he is always very encouraging. Same with Swee Boon and Sylvia. I must make it!. I must win something!!

Back from Macau!!

2008-07-16T23:11:00.003+08:00

Woo Hoo!! 2nd entry of the year!!

I'm back from Macau Dance Festival. I have met many potentially good dancers. Although this time i never manged to watch a awesomely fantastic dance work but at least I know what is roughly happening in different parts of the world. Sometimes as Singporean dancers we always think that oh Singapore sucks. The dancers in Singapore has no talent except for rare people. LOL! But after going Macau I realise actually were not lagging so much behind the dance developement and evolution. Haha! Plus sometimes, I feel we always think that caucasians dance better, they have better skill and blah blah blah...but I guess not. They also have bad, mediaorce and good dancers. Exactly same as Singapore. So Singaporeans can dance. I can dance, I can make it oversaeas if I give myself more confidence. LOL!

Definitly Macau was a worthy experience. I made new good friends, new enemies and also new perspective. I learn how to manage the stage, bad stages, my body better. The best experience i had in Macau was shopping!! I went mad, bought so many new clothes. But I guess it is also due to my busy work schedule I have no time put into shopping and relaxing. Thus, when i went there it was like letting a caged dog out of its cage. LOL! Not forgeting the painstaking rehearsals that Swee Boon and sylvia gave us. Both of them are great teachers, I learnt so much from them. But definitely still a long road towards mastering the skill....hehe :)

Marrying people of the same religion

2008-05-05T00:28:00.003+08:00

I just realised this is the my first entry of this year. OMG!! LOL!

I had a sudden inspiration to write because of Melissa's gift to me. Its a self-help book called "The Purpose Driven Life: What Am I Here For?" by Rick Warren. Yes it is a religious book preaching about God and how to find your purpose in life. I started reading it cause Melissa gave it to me but after the first chapter i'm suppose to reflect according to the book.......

First thing that came to my mind was its propaganda!It's like reading Lee Kuan Yew's Life story.

Second thing that popped up was about issues of marrying people of the same religion group. First and foremost, I am not against people marrying or insisting to marry people of the same religion. I just feel that there is no need to purposely look for a potential partner that is of the same religion or even reject a guy of a different religious group.

If God was the creator of all things, then doesn't that make all humans the same as we came from the same God. GOd did not just create a community of Christians or catholics he created a population, a community. In the book it says human chooses its' own way of living but destiny is decided. Thus, I conclude that this other religious groups were a choice in practicing their worship. All religion has a God, A creator, similiar set of teachings. Maybe different practices but maybe they are all talking about the same person, but in diffferent context.If God appeared in Isreal, why cant he appear somewhere else. God to Catohlics is te father of Jesus, Jesus is half human half God. Maybe he had other sons that the bible did not record about. Maybe his other sons appeared in different ways. How true the history is nobody knows, but choosing to belive in one version is our choice not God's (at least I think so). So why do u have to purposely find a guy of the same faith. Maybe it is a calling to marry a guy of a different religion or maybe it is your destiny, but why do you reject. I feel rejection comes from human made choices. God did not ask you to marry a chirstian if your christian?!No he didn't...

My point i'm trying to make is that why deem a guy or girl less worthy because he is not of the same religion. This matter is no difference to racism! You refuse to listen to your destiny in life, your destined soulmate, just because you do not want to marry someone not similar to you. So if your so religious then why are you not listening to what God has to offer? The books also says to discover your purpose in life you have to listen to what God wants and not what you want.

Merry Christmas?

2007-12-25T02:02:00.000+08:00

Yeah its christmas! We get presents ! Yeah! Let's go out!....

I know this topic is lame but is that all christmas is for. Christmas should be a time a giving and gathering idealistically, but now its not. I wentto myuncle's house like every other year to celebrate christmas. We sat, didn't talk much and family members end up not buying things for each other due to sibling fights. What happen to forgiveness, Hope, Peace, Joy and love. Is all that preaching forgotten... What for celebrate events that no longer holds meaning and purpose. What for waste my money and effort for presents. Is this what a family should be, is that what friends should be made of?

Goals

2007-08-16T21:17:00.000+08:00

"Dance Training is a must, Getting a chance to perform is a previledge!"

Lionel Araya

Thats my new moto in life! I will charge for every performance, do my best and beat the rest! LOL. I'm so happy Mummy and Meng Hooi got into the SWAT team. I know that they might be stressed but if you think about it there isn't much of a difference is just that because they have a name doesn't mean more work! So relax, you guys have amazing talent! Laugh...

For the first time i thought damn if any of my classmates get in it would upset me.. but guess what i was happy! Even i'm surprised at my own reaction. I wonder why? Maybe its because i gain confidence. Maybe I have grown up.

I hope whoever reads this blog of mine that in life you should always look at the bigger picture and not broad over small things that you'll laugh at in the future. If you think that its unfair and unjust, unlucky. Forget it just live your moment fully and take what that moment has to offer. You'll benefit oneself as you'll improve and gain other opportunities!

1st week in school....

2007-08-16T20:55:00.000+08:00

Exterior of the school The rock like building that burst to spart creativity..

Theres Lifts!

Interior

We Gathered for Tour

Mummy curiously peeped into a room

Played the Piano in rooms they call Pods

Xiao xiao i thought that was me playing the piano then i realised i was wearing shorts that day LOL! We look alike!

After walking around the near school were poofed. Time to rest....

Having a gathering With Angel (Senior) and Meng Hooi(Classmate) the twin towers are discussing some issues

The rest of the Fake grass patch

The New Lasalle

2007-08-11T00:10:00.000+08:00

Its sad that i have been blogging for so many years yet i haven't reached a hundred. Haha. Whatever...

I met the old classmates of my class when i had my first year in lasalle. Most of them are no longer studying dance. Its funny to see all of them attached except for Meng, Alice and me, still madly driving towards our "passion" are still single ahaha just a thought.

During my holidays i have met many exciting new people or dancers and grew up i hope. I missed seeing unico although i never took a special interest to hip hop, thus i never took his class i thought he was a fun loving person!

Balh Blah Blah. Now, today, this minute of my life the most important thing is school! Fresh new floor, new people to meet and a new environment. Woohoo! Can't wait to enter a charcol building with glass covering the inside like a science lab where u can see the inside of anything lol... I can't wait to see what will come out of this volcano rock!

Seal of Fate

2007-04-22T01:15:00.000+08:00

I hope I do not fail my theory so scary!! I just can't imagine having to stay back and be in the same class as Alison, Ann or blah blah blah I don't want!!. But my grades are not that bad I think I scored well for dance science and dance history. I am not very sure if 40 is the passing mark for theory but i hope it is then I should pass. I hope.

My goal next semester if I make it is to be more discipline. I'm going to keep a journal to begin my journey. Then I'll make changes to my daily habit and be more observant to peoples' way of dancing , choreographing and teaching. Make notes and make sure i'm early and finish off my work!!

Disheartened to dance

2007-04-14T03:39:00.000+08:00

I feel extremely deflated, heart broken and numb. I really feel that i can't dance believe it or not. Maybe I just suck as a dancer, I have no talent or passion. One day i ase our guest artist Loretta Livingston what was her stand on passion. She said something like passion is like love it comes for bliss periods then it disappears i am lucky if i even have it, Sometimes i hate my parents but I still love and respect them that is how she defined passion. Passion is a mutual believe or intuition that this is the my goal my dream, like finding a guy you like. At the end of the day you realise maybe we just cannot work out or hes not my type blah blah....that is how i feel about dance now I feel like getting a break-up.

I'm no longer upset that i did not get the parts, infect I accepted it too gracefully that i doubt my passion for dance.Shouldn't I be frustrated, disappointed or angry. But I only nearly teared but not heartbroken enough to cry.

Happiest Birthday!!!

2007-04-01T04:21:00.000+08:00

Quoted from xiao xiao

omg. i know that i have to to rush back and do the finishing touches in my presentation for tml but i have to go out meet sammy my dearest and together with meng hooi, to CELEBRATE Alice, Adeline and my [belated] birthday. we went to NEW YORK NEW YORK. whoever wants to celebrate a loud and crazy birthday, do go there. the service is good. staff are friendly and crazy and fun.

so for the whole few hrs were all fun, laughs and more laughs.

we took a bus down from school and went to citylink. meng hooi bought a cake while i bought 2 cute, tiny pink strawberry heart shape cake. we headed over to NYNY, like some big time bosses [actually it is only meng]. she simply passed the cakes to the staff there and asked to keep in the fridge. and so embarrassing, the staff told us that we have to queue outside since we did not book a table. we were like OMG! but never mind. they were nice.

when we finally got our table, we waited for sammy to place our orders. oh once sammy was here. all break loose. we were like the most noisy and loud table. i mean u can't blame us, we have not seen sam for such a long time. boy, we eat and laugh and eat and talk. so much to gossip and catch up on. lolx. like the good old days.

at about 9.30pm, adeline came from teaching in LADC. sam, being crazy hid under the table. to wait for the right moment to surprise adeline. and well being bimbo, adeline did the most funny reaction. it was hilarious. got out cake, from the lovely staff who sang for us. how sweet. like i said, they are the friendliest staff so far. go there and support good quality service. so we were eating cake. and this ALICE apparently heard something "funny" from sam and could not control herself and went spitting the cake out from her mouth at me and Sam. i was like what the! Alice aiming was particularly good today and a tiny piece together with her saliva went flying into my right eye. and all i call go was EWWWWW! we were in a mess i tell you. seriously. the staff they were kind and funny especially A.J. i love you.

we went off at about 10pm i think and second silliest thing happened. meng who kept complaining that Sam took lousy photos said she wanted to take for us. so instead of holding the camera lens towards us, it was aways. we were like huh?! lolx. i went blank for awhile as i don't know how to react, but the most natural thing to do is to... ... ... ... LAUGH!

oh well it was fun too bad that silly zachzach did not come. he and his movies and his free time. dunno how to make time for us meh? lolx. mr. air steward

I'm doing too much typing i'm tired so I copy LOL. I did not go back with them I went out with Fadzil and Selena who kindly brought me out for dinner as I requested LOL and they bought me a mango cake! yumz. oh and my student esther bought me a bright orange daisy my favourite! by accident.Back to dinner we went to makan sutra to eat happy pot but too bad the old lady boss was not there the new men of the stalls were not very nice. THey looked like they wanted to rob us.but we had great dinner and i took cab back!. then the next day I had family dinner. I have yet meet up with karen and char. I thought we were celebrating with kenneth. haha what happened.

THis year is happiest because I reach a nice ripe age of 20.yucks. Nothing bad happened at least no argument, missing family members, sars, holy days failed test ,horrid scoldings or serious bad luck. I very suay right, maybe things will change this year i hope for new and better year!!

DAnceFloor 'competition

2007-01-29T01:25:00.000+08:00

This shows not only tells singaporean dancers how bad they are, also how shallow they have been. A lot of people comes up to me and say oh i know hip hop and jazz. Oh really show me? they were entertaining yes but they look like shit. Dance is suppose to entertain but not having even basic structure how can you say you can dance. I hope this shows give a wake up call to dancer's in singapore. Our standards are is because of what choreographers and dancers makes it to be. Audience open your eyes! If dancing is about entertaining itself its not good. What for create a education for dance if its that easy anyone can dance then. Wake up aspiring dancers!

2nd week of school

2007-01-16T01:01:00.000+08:00

Woo hoo, casting list is out ! and i'm in 2 pieces yeah! so excitied don't know what can possibly await me in future. I must focus i must prove people wrong and not let myself and the teachers down!

Choreographing for LADC grad show is so difficult when you don't work with a bunch of professionals. I think it looks too flowery, maybe its cause its their untidiness or maybe its my choreo. How am i going to show time space and motion..hmm.....

New Venture

2007-01-09T00:41:00.000+08:00

I'm so afraid about the things tammy has planned for us is so overwhelming. I love her new vision and plan ,just awaitng for the excitment to sweep me off my feet. Oh i definitely did today albert was being kind to us today testing our quality. It was funny how things so challenging intrigues the anxiety to jump right for it. I'm just flustered about the essays. I can do it i just need to love to read.

For the past few days i packed my room getting it ready for new shipments of clothes when Chinese New Year arrives Haha. And its still packed, fully packed. Suddenly Shawn tan called ,i'm amazed and shocked at the sudden call from a long lost friend. He wants to come to lasalle to do graphicm glad that he found something meaningful in life i hope this is it.

New year 2007

2007-01-03T23:55:00.000+08:00

Yeah a fresh new year for new begginings new finds...Breathe how was last year great, stressful, happy, even found bliss after 4 years. A short lived one though. Hee...

I went over to alison's place on the first day of new year haa...First time i watch sex and the city its funny to see how desperate people can get its just pathetic, review of that show for me pathetic but interesting makes you ponder about things you've never thought about :).And someone was suppose to call me back neither e-mailed me but still haven't how sad its like the 3rd day of new year arsehole! Then someone had to give me diva attitude by telling me sorry i have something on late tonight i'm afraid i can't handle your rehearsal. I replied sorry if you don't come i'll just have to take you out cause unable to wake up is not a valid reason. CB. and dancers are getting injured when they don't dance funny right,contradicting.Best part of the day was watching Charlotte's web with KAren and Kristine hehe recalled some School gossips LOL...Love you!

third day did a shoot for Gina my gosh i was very leotard and tights in the middle of fort canning haha so naked to do a MTV for Gina's cousin's End year project tiring but interesting. I had ants in my bag though...haha and tomorrow i'm finally going to wake up to pack my room boring but its new year you need to spring clean!

My new year resolution.....

1. To not have sotong arms when i dance

2. Have more emotion when i dance more emo haha...

3. Get my arse back into church..Hopefully i won't be too busy

4. Be every teacher's favourite student

5. Be organise

6. I wish my choreo gets in to my scholarship grad show I will work hard for it!!!

P.S: i'm graduating from LADC scholarship the shows in the last week of jun 28,29,30 come k must support!

November Shivers

2006-11-15T14:03:00.000+08:00

I finally finished this sememster, hope i get through this sememester with a pass...Haiz. So many unhappy, political shits happened.This whole semester i have gone through with lots of tears haven't cried so much in years.Do i really want to dance?

Francis has finally left,that fateful day had come at last. I didn't send him off, classmates said i was heartless, maybe i was.Whatever. If i can i would go over to Shanghai to find him but is mot within my ability to. I hate money problems. So many things to pay for with no money to use.

FInal Call

I went out with Max and Lyn to watch a movie "Final Call" In order to revenge on her classmates that bullied her in class, she sends out deadly messages,forward it or die. AFter they receive the message they'll receive a video of the scene of their death and one scene a guy received a video of his every movement until he got killed by a wild flying electrical wire and got elecetricuted to death. Was really frightened after i watched it. Being the forgetful and careless me i realised my phone was not in my hand so i panicked and i reached towards my bag in look of the phone. At that moment a strange number appeared on my phone as it rangi was so scared i hung it up. Haha so dumb can. Then i realised that it was francis that called.Then i got a moment of joy then my phone rung the 2nd time. I nearly jumped out of my sit cause i was in midst of the show and unable to pick it up. So upset so as i walked out i awaited his call but he didn't then i tried to call with my phone and it said " your overseas calls is temporarily out of service" or something along that line i was so pissed by it.then i used max's phone but the call ended by itself 3 times so i gave up and went to the toilet.Then he called back and i nearly burst out in tears as i talked to him haha. Then i grabbed max and my phone.I wanted to take a closer look at max phone then i saw myself and started to freak out then i ran to max i screamed i'm gonna die and flashed the phone to him and we both laughed haha cause i accidently on his camera haha. and my face appeared on his phone screen. Yes yes adeline and her bimbotic moments.LOL. so silly right.

P.s How come i can't read my tag board can someone please help me.

Living in fear

2006-10-01T22:03:00.000+08:00

What can he do to us, I don't believe that one mand can do anything to my life.I'm not afraid of jeopardizing your job. I just want my life back, we want a fair treatment, and we all just want to dance.Don't put your personal desires into work and causing our disorganization!

I hate it when i have to suffer unfair treatment due to someone's irresponsibility. I know its normal its always happening.Its unfair, but i'll take it but how much can i take how long can i sustain before i break down. I can't hold on long, i can feel my body starting to disengage from my thoughts, my feelings randomly explodes, and i can feel distraction.

Maybe that explains why i sprained my ankle yesterday i was just too tired, sick of dancing, sick of putting myself through that mental challenge everyday, the amount of energy i use to psyche myself into thinking i'm not tired is more then me dancing. I'm just tired of getting the technique right. I'm not meant to dance , I dun feel like is what i'm cut to be. I'm too weak, cant build strength.

Ok enough about dance.Just need to explode my emotions before i drive myself nuts. So much work to do i hate doing salsa history so difficult to understand. Stupid historians why do u have to be so smart. Did you know that salsa is a slave dance and so is many other social dances started out as. No wonder dancers are like slaves haha they do they same mundane work, low pay but worked harder then anyone else and don't get much regconition.Just a fact of the day.

Anyway so glad i went out to watch a movie today with Fadzli, despite of my sprained ankle he still made me shop with him j/k...LOL.After watching the movie i realise how practical i've become, its kinda scary. I no longer buy unecessary things anymore. Everything is for dance. I haven't dressed up in a long long time. I use to over accessorize and tie funny hairstyle, spend time thinking of how i could dress to kill, LOL. But watching "devil wears prada" made me realise what i've been missing out. Hmm i'm not sure if its really missing out but i would love to be able to spend freely, think about the present only and forget the future and waste my life away occassionally. Not being able to dance today i didn't miss dancing infect i was getting irritated when people danced.Peculiar isn't it. Maybe i just need to get distracted for awhile. Maybe i should start looking for someone special...haha.

P.s thats for not giving me ur blog address! LOL

Afraid to fall

2006-07-04T01:27:00.000+08:00

Have you ever got this feeling that u want something so bad but your too afraid to get it.I want to be truthful but i'm afraid to let the people know.But i'm afraid ,afraid of embarressment ,afraid of being hurt ,afraid of trying.

I think when someone has lost the guts to try,its the scariest thing that could happen.People will have no dreams,no hopes being fullfilled.People will live their life filled with regrets and doubts not knowing what they haven't tried is truly what they would have eventually given up.

Some tried so hard that at the end they acheive, but realise its not what they wanted and thorws all their hardwork away or live a live in misery knowing they've made a wrong decesion,taken on a wrong path.

Should i tell,is the answer really what i want to hear.Will i tell to exchange for hope but instead to gain regrets.I wish i had the courage to tell.I'm so eager for your answer,however my eagerness only comes and grows ,feeding on my fantasies.

I chose not to tell in the end cuz i decided i ought give up on this hope to be happy to pursue materials.Why?will i really be happy,materials are substantial if i worked for it hard enough i will get it eventually.happiness...what is it.Is that what i really need and want..........

Bliss after Sickness

2006-06-28T02:11:00.000+08:00

Ran a 40 degree celcius high fever.My God it was my most time wasting days.Believe it or not i rest i thought of dance,I woke up and thought abt dance omg so sad can.I need another life!Hope i'm not wishing for the wrong stuff.

However when you do get sick you realise how many cares...:)...Sudden i'm filled with company.My sister was actually looking after me (now that shes sick i nv bother her he haha i'm so horrible)Grandma couldn't sleep cuz she was worried i might die in the middle of the night with a fever that might burn my brains(i suspect i still have denatured enzymes n brain cells).my parents just slept.I conclude that i have nth to do if i dun dance in i better start finding something.

People in the studio were shocked cuz the usual loud n bubbly adeline shribbled to a lifeless sulky one.LOL.Everyone is like are u sick.I'm like duh it says on my face! Haha love you guys the most unexpected one was andy we've been hardly talking to each other except for dance related issues,teacher student issue.Then suddenly he was like oh are you ok?...no...Omg!,did you eat medicine...no...Omg! I go get you some and he walked all the way back .I'm actually surprised.Hope he never sees this!

Maybe its true after a huge run of bad luck theres always good things ahead if u live through the hardship.

GUess what happ today.Its like nightmare came through.
Ade:Hey look theres someone called Lionel whose here maybe its our instructor (giggled)

Alison:Please.You think were so Lucky everyday don't you( rolls eyes)
Ade :(pays for entrance)Cannot! Stomach pain!---I ran towards the toilet
Ade runs back stared at alison with huge white eyes

Ade :(chanted)Omg!Omg!OMG!
Alison looks at her blurly
Ade :I just saw Lionel! I just saw Lionel.
Alison: Don't play lah its not funny!
Ade Really! there(points)
Alisons gasps and i frantically nodding my head .
Our hearts raced and ran towards the toilet and he waves to us!

Haha drama right.What ill twisted fate is this i think i'm meant to meet this amazing dancer instuructor.The first time i took up dancing at jitterbugs i took 1 of lionel's Jazz class nv took another cuz i was too lazy.3 years later Audrey Leong told me that she takes class at this place called LADC and i was intrested in taking salsa.Thus after taking alicia's hip hop class(Lionel's gf + lionel's business partner +instrutor of the studio) I went to Jazz Cats and took up salsa and i still couldn't remember where i have heard this guyz name before after awhile i remembered.Amazed by fate!.Then by some chance maybe he got the wrong number cuz i sucked big time at hip hop then n now .Then i didn't have background and i still made it !After being influenced by salsa culture i joined the dragones latinos.The salsa company.Did Hope street reconstruted II for him.Then now i'm in the scholarship.Hes the one who brought it to singapore first the rest of the companies around are just copycats!then later maybe become his apprentice and maybe finally work for him haha!God knows but i Know Lionel is the man who'll make a huge difference in the dance society of singapor i just know it!

My silliness

2006-06-20T22:28:00.000+08:00

I conclude i'm a over sensative silly goose.Omg!I was dying to run down to church to see you guyz when training was cancelled,but i was afraid to see you.Silly right!LOL.I'm so glad i plucked up the courage to read your blog again.Lol.I'm still feeling silly

Alision's attached.Haha.So happy for her.Jwo siang is a nice guy dun break his heart!.Lol i'm on her bf side more then my friend.I'm going to malaysia for salsa festival when school starts Jaime is so gonna kill me.But its worth it no matter how much i have to scrimp and save.I wish char and karen wld come along but i'm not sure if their having their holidays.

I'M SO SILLY!

Retarded Day!

2006-05-31T00:51:00.000+08:00

Under a tall,cold building in toa Payoh.Beneth the HDB hub theres actually a museum!Haha .We were making fun of the stautes and equipment .Haha.
>
Went to see Mr yap in school today regarding my sister's startling results.So freaking scar i swear!.THe school looks foreign .Teachers were schocked to see me.Especially shanti i wonder why she hardly ever taught me but she remembers me hmm......and she rambled something like "is that your sister?She cannot collect ypur report book for you.You have to come tomorrow",My sis Diao and went "fuck you".

Mr Yap gave me that "i know its your fault look" for my sisters absentism.Its really not my fault k.Shes really ill.But looking at the way my sis rebutted mr yap tells me how much more stubborn she is then me ,in other words everything she does has excuses!I asked her if she needed me to tutor her but she says no i can handle it so i guess i just have to trust her.What better way to learn then to learn it the hard way .Everyone in my family is stubborn.Its genetic.Hell of scary moments today

Oh guess what my ungly painting is being hung right at the central staircase.How nice i really didn't like it.My humans looks like aliens.But i realise the background was great haha.

Apology to Karen

2006-05-29T22:28:00.000+08:00

I have failed my Fy exams but losing karen in my life feels worse.I blame myself for being rash,for being demanding and ungrateful.I have never slept in peace since i knew i made a rash decision.

I shldn't have blamed you for not understanding me when i hvn't been allowing you to be in my life.I shldn't have scolded you on your blog when your actions were out of concern for me.I blame myself for not understanding the person you are.

That day at nick's gig at Zombie.I wanted to run up to you and gave you a hug ,intoduce you to my friend.I couldn't,I couldn't even open my mouth and say i'm sorry,Cause i was ashamed,I deserve your grudge against me i dare not ask for forgiveness.I wanted to stand on the dance floor so we could enjoy the performance.

I just want to let you know how important you were in my life.Without you i might not be where i am ,Cause i'll never learn to stand up for myself,get the courage to pursue my dreams if i didn't know that you and char will be behind me if i fall.

I wished i could be there for you but life changes ,people too ,to survive.But unlike my exam i can retake but losing you is like losing a part of my life and memories and not able to retrieve it back.I pray to god that you'll see this entry.I dare not ask for you to forgive or understand but i wish tat you'll know.

When i met char the other day,I was in joy cause i hvn't met my friends in months.However the look on her face i saw anger.Frustrated cuz this friend of hers had not been around.Maybe i'm being sensative,she did look tired.I just want to let you guys know i really missed you guys ai really want to be there when you need me.However due to the path of life i chose i'm unable to,I no longer have the freedom the live a free life wiothout fulfiiling my commitments.SORRY............

Ballet vs Scholarship

2006-05-24T02:19:00.000+08:00

I have a chance to perform in a ballet performance at the end of this year but i'm on scholarship!...I dun dare to ask lionel...i'm afraid he'll say no..and burst my dreams i held and fought for so many years.Finally i get the attention and recgonition i might not be able to do it!.I'm afraid if he says no i'm not sure if i can hold back my tears.i've been waiting for this chance for nearly 12 years.If i miss it i have to wait for a few more years would i still be there.i'll be 22 i want to do it when i'm still young.But i dun want to give up on my scholarship where i put in so much sweat,effort blood into the whole programme and i'm actually thinking of giving it up for that 1 day of glam,for the 12years of dream.Cryz.....

Ballet was weird

2006-05-10T00:16:00.000+08:00

Haha today Ms Oh was not free to teach.THus Jenna Tan her assistant ,my ex-classmate,taught me ballet today.Feels so odd being thought by a person thats the same age as u and scolding u for ur errors.Feels really wrg haha.I really admired her talent.I wished she is a performer and not a teacher .I love her style.Well a teacher Cert will let u make more money then a diploma cert in Lasalle.Wish her luck and she has Miss Oh Marvellous teaching technique!LOVE HER COURAGE

Assesment week

2006-04-16T00:31:00.000+08:00

Its finally gonna be the end of my first year.But sadly i hvn't been doing very well.Im just very "suay" i guess .Like just bidge into ur life whenever u dun need extras.I have potential but unable to use it.Sometimes i wonder whether i should be dancing cuz my brain is failing me.i dunnoe y.I keep getting blurrer.I feel like giving up something tells me to change course.But being me i stick to things as if i owe them sumthing.I dunnoe.Dun think i'm meant to dancemI think i have reached my limit.

Miss Ravenna Tucker Ex-principle dancer of RAD.Although i seem like i dun really like her but her advices have brought me thru life.Psycho bitch who scolds ppl in random order,her randomness is unmatchable.Shes 60 plus and yet shes still dances like a pro and at this age she is still being hired to the states to teach ballet i'm impressed wonder whther i'll still be employable at that age.I'll miss her like crazy.

B'dae parade

2006-04-03T01:05:00.000+08:00

whoa all of sudd my friends all reappeared haha.THursday went out with my auntie to have buffet at rendevous hotel and i had lots of salmon...hehe...yeah!then my sisters frm lasalle but too sad i have no time to spare.Alison...sorry u must wait to gd friday haha its my only holiday!oh and georgia.THen next week i have to usher graduation show on thursday watch it on friday.Then alison and i + andy will go watch fragile.Then saturday midnight were watching ice age i dunnoe wat is showing now cuz i havent watch a movie for nearly 6 mths i think.it feels like it.So sad.NO life.But guess what i love the life of a dancer.U never run out of friends.May not be close but cause we see each other every other day we naturally can tok abt everything.

We tok abt everything frm personal to nonsence but we dun feel like we need to hide anything.Fun yar.Love my life!

OH AND I CUT MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!

Dance with the spirits!

2006-03-24T00:37:00.000+08:00

My gosh today Mr. Grover Dale shared about his 61 years as a dancer.He's a 70 year old man a great dancer,with dark silver prada shoes wears a cowboy hat and a sheriff's belt with black slacks weird huh but his really cool.I have been dancing everyday like how ppl need to go toilet.I'm just going through the routine of life.I knew something was missing besides my str haha.But my teachers alws said i was choppy but i didn't know why,soul-less but i have put in my best effort but i found my flaw.I'm afraid to dance afraid to express.I have lost the fire.Why?Comments by teachers sometimes insults embarassment.Afraid of what ppl think i am.

I was the first group that went abt expressing my feelings through my move create an eye contact and looking up helps.But i was afraid.I'm afraid i forget my steps,i'm afraid thought i was too over,i'm afraid i collide into ppl.Cause i was standing right smack in the centre.Heart flutters ,panick flows.But at the end of the day ,I learnt that.ITs that 1 moment u catch the person's attention that he remembers,IF u never tried u'll nv know its wrong,If u nv done it u'll never know wat ppl's reaction is omg thats gross,stupid dumb whatever.From now on i'll be myself.i'll try.Take chances make mistakes!!!!!!!!!!

My Curving spine

2006-03-20T01:07:00.000+08:00

My gosh its not real my spine is getting worse.first i went ---straight---then slant.now it feels like a bracket like this " ( "god save me rain money down from heavens i have so much thing to pay for so many things i need to survive pls i pray that i will get thru this.

Elevation

2006-03-14T00:07:00.000+08:00

Ravenna tucker,Aged 50+,Principle dancer of The Royal Ballet,Analtic professionalism,Bimbotic kind of bitchy.My ballet teacher with anger management a bit psycho.Forever scolding me de most in class,Reasons for being scolded :nothing,4got the excercise and wrg posture.She praised me LOL.Everybody got a shocked too.Meng says i must prove her wrg.I will.And i will prove Lionel ,Alicia jaime,Andy ,Dapheny ,Alison....That i'm putting in 100% ok i'm not playing a fool just going thru a phrase ok.Stop shoving ur analtic prefessionalism (is there such a phrase?)into my face cause one day i waill climb above ur puny brains and step and squish it to revenge the amount of saliva u guys spat across my face.Die u all,Die! or u'll be condemmend 4 eva!I will Show u i was just going through a phrase and i'll never give u guys a chance to scold me ever.ARGH!!!!!!

P.S :is a motivational speech

Mices.....

2006-03-12T22:22:00.000+08:00

I have new edition to my pets galore.2 spotted mices black white n grey.Named laos and argentina.Laos is the one with a grey patch on its face and argentina has a white face.Their so cute!!!!!!!!!

Came home and transferred them to a nice cute cage.They scurried and explored.

4 crazy quartets + Zack

2006-03-09T01:21:00.000+08:00

Haha class ended early today.Stayed in the studio n rolled around.Then dancer alice says i need to practice my solo.So i digged out my CDs played secret Garden-Promise.The last time i danced solo to it sam and les nearly cried they said it was touching...haha i was shocked cuz i was just dancing with my heart nearly coming out from my throat.Anyway,Alice is doing solo and she dances with so much emotional i think i sniffed.She's my twin by the way.Haha.Met a twin in primary ,secondary and college.I'm still the oldest by 6 hrs?....Not very sure...haha.

Well it all started with alice.We sat down and chit de chat.Then change the songs on my CD and then we tried to improvise.Lol.Hilarious.A chin-a kung fu song came out *ophelie burnt it and i nv actually listened to it b4*.Then the 4 of us alice,ming hooi,and denise my look a like stood in a circle and did kung fu lol.I did snake fist ,crane fist and monkey fist alice is really good at that.She looks real.Haha.Then a Bullfighting song came and zack randomly appears and suggsted we marched to this song.Obviously the only one who knows how to march is officer Zack Lol but Ming was calling out commands in malay.And i just blindly followed haha the mismatched steps and timing and ppl turing the wrg side was so funny.We had a ball of a time laughing at ourselves.I was so involved i forgot to snap a photo.So sad i wish i did so u guys will know how funny we were.*what dancers do when their bored*They dance randomly LOL.

The 4 crazy quartets Da Da -Ming Hooi
Zhong da-Me
Zhong Xiao-Alice (born on the same day mah)
Xiao Xiao -Denise

Focus

2006-03-05T23:48:00.000+08:00

Omg my brain is doing it again i keep brain farting.Ar!!!!!!Going to die.I need to just stop thinking of rubbish keep going in one direction dun hesitate just jump.Dun have to get it just need to show u can do it.Lionel is bias!Doesn;t mean i have more dance experience and more background n being in lasalle means i shld be better.Cause i had a horrible ballet teacher.Cuz china ppl dun care if ur injured.I was young i didn't know cant help it if i have so many bad habits trying to change but i can't not in a reflex action go to hell lionel...i will prove u wrg!!Oh and ravenna n jaime.U all will die in shame of ur unneccessary,ridiculous and stupid comments

P.s : I'm just psyching myself to feel more motivated i'm not angry

Emotional crisis

2006-02-25T03:05:00.000+08:00

Is weird how ,after picking up dancing i neglect pple ard me,ppl whom i use to care for,Who was in my life 8 to 19 years of my life.I forget.I'm reaaly angry with myself.First i cldn't go out for dinner with my dad on his b'dae.Yesterday i forgot my mum's b'dae.I could see she was upset cuz i didn't wish her,I lied to her told her i send her a message,maybe my phone screwed tats y u didnt receive it.I wanted to get her a present but wat abt my dad's whos b'dae past a month alr,should i get him a present?Its ridiculous!Will he get jealous if i don't?But to get one now is so bloody insincere.What shld i do to cover my guilt with.nothing?Let it fade?Maybe i can do it on father's and mother's day?I'm so torn.

My birthday is coming my dearest friends wants me to celebrate it with them.Guess what i'm not free any 1 of the days i have classes from morning to night.I have to apply leave for my BDAE!My life suddenly dun make sense.I had a goal to be a dancer but acheiving this goal means hurting n neglecting pple around issit worth it.My life can't be complete being a dancer with no family or friends.What can i do.I ran too far off its too hard to find a balance.

Triple turns

2006-02-23T12:30:00.000+08:00

Yeah i have met 1 1/2 goals cuz one of them i can only do 1 side

1.i'm flat to the ground for side split le no more little faort canning

2.I can do triple jazz turn on my right only so half way le

Hehe so happy !That totally made my day can't stop smiling to myself it feels better then falling in love.Gasp.

God pls forgive me for destroying your art of nature.I destroyed papi's furcoat he looks deshaveled.LOL.That poor creature what has he done to deserve a owner like me.LOL.

Tonight i'll be heading down to crystal jade to at xia long bao yeah!

Lack of communication

2006-02-21T01:25:00.000+08:00

I wake up in the morning ask my mum for money,ask grandma for food then put i go to school.Come home everybody is aslp.So i slp too.so i think i say abt less then 10 lines in a day to my family members.i'm not the only one.My family seems to only talk to each other only when they need something.Never for no good reasons,crack a joke.Everybody is so hostile.Peculiar isn't it.

I wonder deep down inside that small fragile body of my grandpa.Whether he is feeling alright.Its nv common in my family to express love,care and concern out loud but i can see it.Although i hate my grandparents nagging.But their like my robots who never fails to remind me to bring my things,remind me that i'll be late my alarm clock.

I'll miss them if they go i'm worried i can't take it haha.I have not met death neither hv i been thru the death of a loved one.Yes my relatives pass away one by one but i'm nv as close to them as i am to my grandparents,sometimes i feel that even if my parents go i might not even feel it.

You Are a Flashy Red Bra!

Outgoing, friendly, and fascinating.
You're a charmer, with your pick of the men.
But you want a man who's as magnetic as you are.
You need someone who can keep up with your all night gab fests!

What Kind of Bra Are You?

My gosh i sound like some wild hore or something ewel

P.S : I can count the amount of bones on my ribcage!

Fort Canning Runs

2006-02-20T14:22:00.000+08:00

Its super tiring with those slopes.But it seems like i'm improving.Went jogging today i remember last year near october running towards potong pasir the chao long kang then back .Today i ran all the way to potong pasir then ran back from the bridge ,reaching the industrial park,then home.A slighty longer route i dunnoe how many metres but my timing was only 20mins.My aim is to run to potong pasir pass char's place then run back home.Give me till april.

Valentine 2006

2006-02-15T01:12:00.000+08:00

Thanks raoul for the purple roses.
Selnor is like the sweetest serenade to me early in the morning love at first sight by blues *gasp,and his red roses.

Went out with the girls to acid bar't.Haven't had a girls night out in such a long time its to die for.Havent been so bitchy in a long time.I was like the most unglam one there thanks the ugliest.

P.S my most exhausting day ever i'm starting to break apart............

Weight loss panick!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-02-13T17:36:00.000+08:00

The title says it all.I tremendously lost weight over the weejend i'm fucking skinny..YEE...Weird isnt it i purposely ate more the wat i'm use to so that i wldn't lose weight but its not working.I'm going on a fat filled diet!

I hate a dancer's life!!!!!!!!!

2006-02-12T00:14:00.000+08:00

Argh!i have to make choices everyday from family to friends,friends to religion,religion to dance,dance to myself.Its so difficult.Eveything ,everyone its so important.How to decide!!...Argh i can't take it I have no life my friends are there but not there cause i dun have time for them.argh so agitated.Y can't everything just fall into place.I hate making choice like this everyday to fullfil my commitment and to push myself further in dance i alws upset someone else...argh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chingay 2006 part 2

2006-02-06T10:54:00.000+08:00

My silly teacher drew my eyebrows together cuz he was inexperienced

The irish hairy man,They simplified the make up

Sak the cool indian girl who steals army clothes.Shes dramatic

Some other puppets

More hairy man and puppets

Hafis on the left and his best friend on my right.Their huge lah

Lucinda and me

THe hip and groovy percussionist.Haha u guys rock.

Random-ness thoughts II (when people get older)

2006-02-04T00:21:00.000+08:00

I realise as we grow up we become more and more indpendent.Maybe its just me.Nowadays when i have a problem I would solve it myself.In the past a small matter must find my best friend to talk to.If not will die.but talks nowadays is more of informing ,updating a friend instead of finding an answer.

As u grow older ur skin gets thinner.Maybe were becoming aware of wat others are sayingbehindour backs.I usually have something to tell a person i'm too worried to say.I don't know whether the impression ur giving me is real,thus i'm afraid to express.

Now i understand what adults mean by"i rather be a kid"

Chingay 2006

2006-02-04T00:13:00.000+08:00

OMG its so funyet tiring.I painted my face fully white 2 red dots on my cheeks and super thick arched eyebrows and MOUSTACHE.I look like those tradition trishaw man.LOL.Its really ugly but fun.U dun get to be stupid and shameless w/o feeling embarassed in front of a big crowd everyday.HAHA.Ran ard in a sarong thingy school shoes and a big banner.My sarong flew and showed my sexy legs lol.The wind was going against my flag i nearly flew off my feet.Jumped,run,waved and smiled frantically at the audience.Its really dumb but an unforgettable experience.

Chinese New Year

2006-02-03T00:45:00.000+08:00

I enjoyed myself at char's place.Met the church gang.Nick's attached *yeah,Muei is losing weight,Char has a new date-ahm,Kenneth has a new friend,Russ the orange kum-guat lol.People change so fast ,were all starting to realise were older haha.

Went to watch the "Memoirs of the Geisha" it was intresting to know that pros still can b high class.It reminds me how much guys needs a girl.Peculiar isn't it,Although theres gays,lesbians, and homos,bis.But we still need a girl or a man.eg.father mother.

missed..............

1st scholarship training

2006-01-22T22:49:00.000+08:00

My gosh i am dying i dun even have time to eat.I will disappear into the air soon.I have to take all the classes there is available.My god with no form of rest!Seriously i dun think i'm gonna make it.I swear its really wearing me out.My brain switches off after every 10secs.I tell my legs to do this but it does another,my hands does something else too.My gosh i dun think i'll make it .I hope i can

Ps:Please just give me rest from dance.I'm so sick of tired losing things more then i'm gaining

Scholarship

2006-01-16T15:36:00.000+08:00

Yeah! I got the scholarship!

I really thought i wouldn't make it.Brain farting the whole day.Can't remember my steps ,got striked out once.stood there n stared at myself during the auditon i still made it.haha.I must thank russ haha i owe u.

However tat means i'll not appear in the church for a year so when u guys free must call me out k.I cant meet u guys in church anymore i have training at 10am on sunday.Its going to be a long and exhausting journey.Pray that i'll make it through.Ar!

so excited yet worried.

I hate rain@!

2006-01-11T23:53:00.000+08:00

This whole rain thing is driving me nuts.I'm feeling vain but i have to dress to weather.When i wear something nice,i walk out on the street and come back as if i went for a swim.

Not only physically,mentally too.I feel sleepy,i feel nua,I feel distracted and i feel alone...how sad...

I hv to dance nearle 12hrs a day wake up and dance almst 24/7...I'm really exhausted,i want to go back to the good old days where i can spend time with my 2 best fiends and the guys,go to church everyday.Treat it like a 2nd home.Atmosphere ther is warm n cosy...secure.I turn about and i have a whole bunch of friends to help me if i need the uncles and aunties offering their help to the youths.I really missed those days.

But i can't turn back i have a dream to pursue.If this fails i have no future unlike my other friends they can get a cert get a job that pays them like mad or maybe not.I won't be paid as high as them,unless i'm the best.In the world.I have to take care of my own injuries go on a healthy diet.I turn about and everybody can't wait till i break something my heart my passion.I have to depend on myself.I wish u guys could be there and we could have fun instead of sarcastic remarks made by ppl.My leg hurts but my heart hurts more...cause ppl won't understand how much i'm putting myself thru all this shits ppl give me.

I can't stand it i just want to run up to u and get a hug but i'm afraid to tell,afraid to show.Please tell me wat u think.

Random-ness thoughts I

2006-01-08T21:02:00.000+08:00

i was thinking today what is my kind of guy a lot of ppl have been asking me haha.

Hmm.....

1.Ok looking
2.Don't need a fantastic body but not too skinny or fat .Tone but not muscular (Fussy)
3.Not Bi preferbly ( its quite scary)
4.Patient
5.Honest
6.Caring (doesnt mean he loves u he'll be caring:rebut to douglas)
7.Fun loving
8.Have a direction in life
9.Hopefully he'll be rich cause i'll be poor ,dancer what
10.Understanding ( cause i'm very demanding)
11.dancer (their mostly gay !)
12.If he's not a dancer he still must learn how to someone who knows how to appreciate my lifestyle)

!st loco night at LADC

2006-01-08T01:08:00.000+08:00

Met a lot of ppl salsaing...haha..came to LADC today.Kinda proud and impress cause that means me n alison left an impression one them a major want big enuff to draw to see our background.I'm very confused today this mixed feelings keep running thru my whole body its just weird i dunnoe wat to do when i know i'm afraid to say it.hmmm...weird.
I missed the open house today.i was so tired and sick.I really wanted to go but just couldn't 'm so sorry guys...I wonder how it is now..........

* CONFUSED *

4th day of school!

2006-01-06T00:35:00.000+08:00

omg! i'm aching all over my gosh...i can't take steps bigger then 1 15cm long ruler or else i can feel the pull in my calves.Can't lift it any higher then 20 degrees my hemstrings hurts gosh.my upper body hurts but not as bad.I remember the first day i was holding my leg at 90 degrees and it was trembling like an earthquake-muscle spasms.I can pull thru this.I have to go to school on my own tomorrow better sleep earlier.

Alison quit school today shes going to follow her dreams.I wish her "may ur dreams come true" hope she makes it to musical but dun worry gal i'll be waiting for u in dance if u fail choy...touch wood....so excited and worried for her.It's a physical n metal torment to follow ur dreams.

Why? If u dun like what ur studying and ur not doing well u can blame it on ur not intrested.U give urself reasons to skip school.But dream followers can't.If u really want to do this so badly u shld succeed.If u want to succeed u can't be lazy u have to overcome all this obstacles on ur own!sad huh...sacrifice scrifice....haha

Past memories

2006-01-04T19:10:00.000+08:00

I have been spending time at the studio like crazily.I sleep i eat and dance there.
well anyway i decided to post some pictures haha.
*i realise i'm getting quite naggy lol.

Hope Street Reconstructed

Soul dancer the beggining piece

Mr. shoosh

L-train

post party me and alison posing ard

crew

marcys feeling shy running away from alisons eye camera

yes!its over

Before the party starts!

Andy got an eye infection LOL.pretends to be a pimp

A bit gone by now

nearly gone

Daph and yarra posing as sluts lol

I miss u guys can't wait to see u guys again

!st day

2006-01-03T18:30:00.000+08:00

After all the excitement .Sch sucks.Not because of sch actually,its what i did.ARH!First i was lost in class cant gt my step,in ballt i laughed and toked for no reason.worst of all I lost contact with my core.gosh!I need to work harder .

1. Core Muscles
2. Ground plie
3. Perfect every excercise
4. Concentrate breathe
5. Go early to sch condition and warm up
6. Go jogging every saturday with mini

Feelings:

Classmates some got a bit plummer darker prettier.Well all the same people fun.However this sem's schedule is super hectic.i end school earliest 4pm latest 8pm.Cryz.But heard of plans made for our class is fantastic.We perform every once a month .First month were learning classical ballet piece -swan lake gosh very nice but of course as foundation students we do the simple parts haha its fast cuz the steps are big movements and co-ordinations but we'll get thru it.Guess what dear Zack got a solo the only guy in our class haha were waiting to see when he'll turn gay lol!He doesn't have strong background.So i'm a bit worried a person with basic background is going to do advance movements double turn jumo,5 turns consecutively and high jumps and beats.my gosh its really short but super diff.I hope h can do it.so exciting! looks like this year is filled with surprises........

Dream has past now back to reality

2006-01-03T03:19:00.000+08:00

For the past two weeks i have been partying like crazy gosh.After the show i feel so free,I do not have to rush for dance get my neccesities,wrk.Nothing,totally free.Went to malaysia with alison madness i tell u.Came did more shopping for christmas but this year's shopping was quick quick quick.I didnt even have time to wrap.haha.

But this 2 weeks i have spent time at a dear friends place(douglas's).Many things happened i got kicked out of th house.Why?Cause my dad found out i was schooling at Lasalle.He was so mad cause nobody told him i was enrolled to get a dance diploma he tot i was getting a business diploma.I know his worries,how is she going to earn? what can she do after with a dance diploma? U noe what i'm not sure too at least i know tat i still want to do this.Do I?I was really sick and tired after doing the show?Didnt feel like dancing it was was too tiring i just want to rest.Now ,i cant wait for school to start.

Thanks to douglas i had a place to spend.I was like living a dream i felt like me and alison had our place haha at times only?however it was emotionally exhilarating,haa.Hes nice but wrong.everything happened like a dream, a de ja vour.And it all ended when i woke up this morning.I will detach myself from guys i know its hard.Cause which girl in the world doesn't want to find a guy she can depend on when she falls.But i will ,This year i will try to be a better and more responsible person for my own dreams.If a person wants to be really passionate for something she has to give up love cause my heart has only enough space to fit my dreams.I could fit a guy but it would be squeezy...I may not be a very hardworking person.But i noe i'm determined i can do it.This year will be even more difficult then 2005.2005 was physically and emotionally exasperating alr.

Things i would try to acheive:

1. Top the class in ballet exam (i;m only 2,3 marks below i can do this if i concentrate)

@.Try to attain lionel Scholarship

3. If i fail to attain scholarship i would try to attain a place in a contemp company

4.If all else fails i would cont taking up other classes

etc,etc,etc..............

OH today i packed my whole room biggest acheivement ever its fucking empty.Bad news i'm only 1/4 done after packing for 2 whole days how sad :(..But i will do it !! woo hoo!!
Good luck everyone else!

Sorting Out My Thoughts

2005-08-29T01:41:00.000+08:00

OK ihv been LOST! for too long is time to wake up and find a way out.
1.I Must throw 110% into dance
2.I must be organised
3.I must be focused
4.I must peservere
5.I must be determined
6.I will be patient

Spending Style Test

2005-08-12T16:04:00.000+08:00

Adeline, you're an Impulsive Spender

In your life, spending is something that happens freely. Rather than adhering to a strict budget, you prefer to have the leeway to splurge on yourself. You're more likely than others to buy things you don't have an immediate need for, in hopes that the perfect occasion to use it will arise in the future. While some people only go shopping when they need something specific, you're more likely to go shopping just for fun, picking up whatever catches your eye.

When it comes to your financial state, you tend to feel like you're about where you think you should be.

The 5 IPIP personality test

2005-08-12T15:37:00.000+08:00

Adeline, your most unique quality is that you're unusually Inspirational

You inspire others around you with your creative energy and thirst for new experiences. You are exceptionally curious and aren't afraid of learning new things — which is probably because you tend to focus on the potential positive outcome of any experience rather than dwelling on the potential negatives. You are a true explorer in the word. You want to understand and experience it all, and you're especially open to new feelings and ideas. Compared to others who are open, you are unusually appreciative of art and beauty. Only 2.1% of all test takers have this unique combination of personality strengths.

While this says a lot about you, there is much more to you than this. The 5-Factor IPIP Personality Test measures you on 30 unique personality traits, backed by over 70 years of personality research. This enables us to provide you with the most thorough, in-depth personality assessment available to you.

Life

2005-08-10T10:33:00.000+08:00

I never how tired dancing has caused me to be.i slept the whole morning wok up abt 1 plus slept at 5 pm woke up at 1 am slept all the way frm 3 am to 10 am .I'm rushing my yoga assignment today,going to go thru my yoga series.Thereafter i would go gt my ez-link card,if i dun feel lazy i might go shop for presents.I hope andy calls me soon for shopping! I want my skirt!

Damn bored lah hehe

2005-05-24T22:23:00.000+08:00

Why does my one look so wild one.Char's one so her, mine very me oso lah in a way ahem.

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Seccretary's week

2005-04-25T00:24:00.000+08:00

My gosh i made such a big boo boo yesterday during my performance. But my fren said it was gd mistake .What happ? i ran into the song too early and i didnt even realised i was in the centre of the stage, my gosh it was such a dilema lah iwas like run back run back now! but then everyone wld noe its a mistake i was like shit! but i just ran to the other side and snapped back in the centre with me crew.LOL.

Theres so many thingys i want to get but no money *hint.

List.

1. A big bag that can fit 3 shoes 3 pairs of pants and tops underwear socks and perfume...etc into one...(marcus better come back frm thailand with one)

2.Razor backs guess want a dancer with no razor back tops

3. Pants mine are becoming holy need more tracks too esp a track

oops i did it again!

2005-04-01T08:58:00.000+08:00

Haha Haha HaHa...never blog for 3 months le....broken record.Hee got miss me not?hmm...

Why? Cause i get so freaking tired after work and then i hv to go for dance there after i still have to go entertain my frens , jk i went out for fun come home at abt almst 2 am everyday so if u've been msging me on MSN is not me is my MUM!.yar back to blogging i get so freaking tired everyday where got time to blog even if i take leave i would be aslp lol.PIG!

On wednesday i went out with Alison ,MC ran and marcus...my gosh i nv knew marcus was such a serious person nv knew he could be my gosh hes so experienced.He was telling me how weak i was and i shld go to the gym and train up i said i know but wasnt gonna thinking of doing anything but just wait for my muscles to develope by itself.He said tat if i really want to dance for life i hv to start getting good b4 school even starts.If i really want to do it go full out.This is wat i alws tell myself but i nv went to give a tot abt it though just didnt thank god he reminded me so whoever is free must bring me go gym marcus said he would go with me cuz he said he was getting out of shape hiimself but he wants to go to the one in bedok! because its near to him and alison like hello i take nearly an hour to reach alison's house.

Went out with karen yesterday to go lasalle to watch andy,dapheny,shanti,yarra and jenny do their graduation gig .Its good i tell u my gosh esp this china men so strong! lol but not very good looking though.So proud of u guys .shanti one was really original she used a cloth spread across the whole stage and used lights and shadows to do her dances my gosh its so cool .Then she used yarra and some china good shit as a couple omg i could feel their emotions spilling out so touching.

Today,i'm going pubbing legally! haha. Dun swear at me i know i'm a bitch haha.Lost dunnoe wat to wear sumthing decent yet wild .not too exposing but sexy?.Gosh so stress lol!

New year!

2005-01-25T01:02:00.000+08:00

Yeah its 2005 and nearly reaching a month i decide to do my first blog of the year! hehe

I've been so bz and overwhelm in the begining of the year! went to watch a midnight movie kung fu hustle (ok) then started work it sucks like its BORING! then as usual dance dance dance.

The starting of the year hv been great.I hv new friends new dreams n new hopes in life oso night mares...lol (results).I luv my dance friends.Know them for a short period of time but they know me betta then friends i hv known for years.For once in my life i actually feel tat someone understands me noes wat i want breathe the same air living in the same world.Old friends dun need me new friends want me.Sad but i'm happy.now i dun hv to wait till their free to watch a movie i hv new friends who are willing to spend time with me, they enjoy wat i luv best (dance) unlike my other friends whom i dun speak the same language with.I feel our gap just gotten to far i talk less when i'm with them,i feel less happier ard them,i can't catch up with their lives anymore its just too difficult,too tiring to try to be the same.Being with them its difficult to breathe,to difficult to see i'm just too different.

Supprort Charades

2004-12-18T22:58:00.000+08:00

Hi guys haha been very emotional nowadays still am u noe me imaginations go wild anything cld be possible if i want it to be.THus jumps to conclusiond.bad!lol

enough abt myself I 've been working my ass out to cover "quota" for the bazaar i really dun want to fail on my first attempt.haha.If any of u guys want to come its on DECEMBER 21-24 9AM TO 6PM RIGHT NEXT TO THE LIBRARY CANT SEE LOOK A BIT HARDER!

ps: damn stressed damn worried so u must come see me to buy things to comfort me k?

Pain to listen

2004-12-12T21:33:00.000+08:00

I never felt so strong abt a guy since dunnoe since when lor.aiyar as usual Adeline is afraid to show her real feelings.just tell him lah!.NO CANNOT HE LIKES ANOTHER GIRL.nO BUT HE DOES LIKE U A LITTLE .But why go beg for the guy.U noe i like u stop trying to atagonise me to tell u my true feelings y can't u say first why cant i .You bloody piece of shit stop telling me ur problems i dun want to hear.Cant u bloody see i like u fucker.

Its Over !

2004-11-29T02:20:00.000+08:00

YEAH my o's are over.didnt feel as elevated as n's but then i feel that i put in much more effort in n's. oh well wateva its over.

Had grad night it was damn fun we did stupid things like hokey pokey and screaming our lungs out lol just to win mugs ugly looking mugs.The stupid dj made us fall k who the hell hold hands n spins in circle in a 4 inch heel meanie! i miss sch and my horrid classmates they were fun though.I miss valuable lessons i learn in school i meant life values no academic!

Thru all thus hush hush and buzz buzz to pass o lvl's and brushing up my dance i failed greatly as a person.I'm a bad friend a bad sister.haiz.

I'm not showing off or anything but its so hard to get u char.I had so much things to tell u but i didnt cuz i ws too bz n selfish . I just am not there when i think i'm suppose to .I will pray *i try* everyday tat u didnt make a wrg decision. I understand how u feel i can feel it too * yuck mushy* i'm serious! ur probaly the only stupid idiot who still reads my dumb blog everyday.And for goodness sake dun ever try to go thru all this by urself again ever.

My sis as u noe my family is not exactly perfect no one is .However my sis feels tat everyone is agsnt her but she doesnt see thru all that scoldng how much my family does care for her.My mum alws tells me the one she dotes the most is my sister yet my sis hates her the most dunnoe how to tell her.She wont listen .I understand her stubborness n bad temper runs in the whole family.Worse of all i'm not making things betta for her and my parents by being lazy.like not washing my bowls and keeping my clothes and then my mum wld scold her and force her to do it and she doesnt see it as that my mum thinks she is her best daughter and she wld alws help my mum out.I noe wat my mum feels.Shes not the best mum in the world but shes my only and for goodness sake stop expecting ppl to be perfect if ur not.My relationship with my sis is not getting any better but yet worse see i hv so much worries but i cant find ppl to tell.No one has time to listen no one notices the pains of other

Hey!

2004-11-14T11:23:00.000+08:00

hiz ppl i'm finally free for once to type hehe.omg i think my dreamz will come tru i just saw my b4 fly away when i was doing my maths paper 2 so hard!! I'm very worried abt my results though nth has been going smoothly.

It wasnt like last yrs n's where i had a certain kind of assurance on whether i cld pass but this yr its really bad i noe i wont fail but i wouldnt get gd results either i just hope its 20 and nth more i really want to get into business.i'm so scared.wat if i cant get into business wat will i do.Dance.Do i really want to dance for the rest of my life.Scary.I'm so worried its making me so sick.hving friends like jia wei doesnt help cuz hes lazier then me my gosh and when i refuse to go out with him he'll call me few times in a day and persuade me to go out.hes really irritating me.

ps : hi nick haha and i want those shoes girl!lol

Memory

2004-09-21T21:35:00.000+08:00

There is seriously something wrong with me...I only realised it when i was playing mahjhong at char's party.I was throwing out my tiles then occassionally someone wld ask me what hv i thrown but i cant remember.I tot i was just not concentrating.Then after i realised something tat i hvnt been blogging and most of the time i'll be at tat point i hv sumthing to share mood then i realised i cant remeber what hv beeen happening to me the whole week or tat day itself.Weird!

Today i dreamed i failed my prelims we were all sitting in a class all was holding a white envelope all drawing out a laminated sheet of paper it looks like a certificate like my n' level cert i saw mine i had only full of E8 and F9.I think its trying to warn me tat i wouldnt do well for my prelims but if i dun buck up i wld do the same for my o's.So creepy my dreams are gving me warnings.

Seriously i dun feel like i'm improving in my studies i feel rather stagnant.ok but not doing very well especially english i'm scared.

Exams

2004-09-02T23:01:00.000+08:00

BORING !!!

yar i noe dun read then.lol.Yar i noe i'm whining again...haha.Guess what after tml i hv no more exams until one week later.Yeah so excited oh by the u babes better remember to come down.Its this saturday 7 ok at st michael yeah!

Neglected

2004-08-28T00:43:00.000+08:00

Where the hell are my so called friends and my so-called best friends when i need them huh huh? Always telling me when i need help just tell them.Fine. When i do they dun hear me, when i do and they heard me they tell me they have no time?

Seriously, what are friends for if i can't trust them to be there.I noe i'm being this spoilt brat,selfish naive bitch. But seriously think abt it what hv u done for me and for ur other friends.

Disappointed

ps. If ur not happy then dun read,if u do i apologise for my straightforwardness :p

Draining my life away

2004-08-19T22:02:00.000+08:00

Cry....

I'm UGLY!!!!

Yar ok *duh* ok dun reconfirm it pls...my gosh i never seen myself so weared out b4!I look tired and old,my eyebags are swelling eyes gets smaller crows feets on my head.Oh well whateva i cant do much now can i .

Why? SCHOOL!!!!! Rush datelines staying in sch go for my dance classes come home and study do my art paper 2 which i still have not started on and guess wat all this datelines ends on the same day! see.yes i noe i brought this upon myself but wat can i say.I just keep doing the same thing over n over again.Human nature.

I do not knoe whether this is a blessing or not ,i suffer from insomia .Well i dun tink its stress becuz i dun feel stress i only sound stress.Yar back to insomia .If it wasnt for insomia i dun think i wld hv been able to rush my dateline,stay up in class and i dunnoe maybe energy.I still feel energetic w/o slping *hmm...weird*.Disadvantage, I look 3 yrs older lol.I'm just worried abt the weirdest thing which no girl are not many girls are worried abt at this age.Hahahahahahahhaha

I also went to view the Asean Gymnastics competition today.I felt so lousy after watching this super gd malaysian girls.I must train harder.

Quote " So many dreams ,so much to run after , Do not think or look back look forward and pursue your dreams "--Adeline

LOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOL

I Pass!!!

2004-08-12T23:21:00.000+08:00

I LOVE U TOO KAREN N CHAR!!!!

I noe my blog is boring but Hey is o's lor.Its alws study study study.I hv other things in my live but not so major lah just some minor feeling for a guy.If not is some cool dance step i learn.Yar yar i knoe BORING!!!!

I'm typing on my heavy laptop with papi under my arms.I got back my results today.Chinese I've got B4 yeah and a merit for oral.heehee.Alicia got A1 and dist.Byotch,smart ass wo alws walks ard the class going oh gosh i so screwed up i'm so gonna fail.

Actually i had no confidence in doing my O's this year.However after i got back my results i feel more confident.My chinese results proved to me tat if i aim for it then work hard at it i'll get it>Yeah!

P.s Good luck to myself

Stress!!

2004-07-29T21:25:00.000+08:00

Haiz everything is like going so fast.I havent rest and grab a breathe.Rushed art dateline,eng oral chin results coming out soon! prelims are being pushed like 1 week forward becuz that stupid seow has to go mark papers!SPASTIC!

I have no confidence abt my marks So much things is happening i like trying to pushed everything to be done in a week or sumthing.I didnt even finish studying my han zi lor.REGRET REGRETS what is wrg with me i noe i wld regret but i just keep doing it.

Post Gynastics competition

2004-07-23T23:05:00.000+08:00

HAhahahahahahaha....

During :

tryouts : oh gosh i'm so nervous i dun want to leave the judges bad               impression .OmG my eyes protruded my jaws drop! That idiotic girl has the same music as me byotch! Guess wat at the end of the day i realised that my standard is not as far as i tot i was!

1st Official competition day: Yar most of the team did most of them got into the final actually all but 1 haha!

2nd day of competition : Gosh the stupid pple in charge didnt tell b' div grp that they were in the finals.Panic ran amok! Rushed for make-up ,hair and parents send them home to get their leotards wat assholes right.BIAS!!!!.finally it was my turn Ball i did well didnt drop anything but onli got 6.7
Clubs dropped like mad but i got 7.5 haha

Overall :

C" div
        3rd for overall individual's champion
        A few Thirds for hoop ball clubs
       3 2nd for erica (optional) for events and overall champion
       2nd for grp event
WOOHOO!!!

B'div
        2nd for clubs
        3rd for ME!!! (adeline) (clubs) woohoo!!!!!!!!!

ps: If u didnt notice i won third woo hoo!!!

Gym competition

2004-07-20T23:42:00.000+08:00

Yikes! after all that tideous training once friday is over my training wld be useless all my efforts are not useable anymore.I WILL MISS GYM!!! bawl....

I was looking at my "enemies" today .they were not as gd as i expected them to be.Guess what i think i still stand a chance oh well except for Rgs nvm i just want to break my record score of 8.5 sumthing and i'll be pretty happy!

HEY!!!``

2004-07-19T01:00:00.000+08:00

LOOK AT THAT MY EX-FLINGS ARE TAGGING MY BOARD BUT MY BEST FRIENDS ARENT!WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?I BET THEY DUN EVEN READ IT!I"M HURT!

BUZZZZzzzzz..

2004-07-16T23:42:00.000+08:00

Its that abv thru.Abit except for the neat part that is totally not true.

I'm still busy as usual so are my friends.I think i'll nv get used to be hving free time.Just cannot sit still.HAHA.Competition is 2wks frm now.Although is my 5th comp (last yet no one is coming to support me..Ahem) i'm still pretty nervous.Maybe cuz i'm trying something new.Competing with pple way abv my standards btw pple my standard is scary i want to leave with sumthing but i can't .Seriously is not tat i hv no confidence but i cant do much within 5 days i may be improving every training according to my coach but she alws say i can nv beat anyone there all i can do is grab a gd mark for the team and let the sch win.

Everything is going so fast ,i hardly hv time to catch a breath.First i had chinese listening compre i screwed it up a bit then goes my oral screwed it too .Guess what results are coming at the end of this month the later in august is prelims 2 wks intense revision then 2 wks break then its o's,I hv no time to study make notes and worst my stupid art dateline i really want to get rid of it but now i hv to put my gym first then art then study study.Sound so hectic eh.

Wish: I wish i cld go for a holiday with my friends *hint*

Ade- Stuggling with life

A	Accurate
D	Devious
E	Eccentric
L	Lovable
I	Inspirational
N	Nice
E	Enjoyable

E	Exhausting
E	Exhausting

W	Wired
E	Enjoyable
I	Intense

L	Lively
I	Innocent
N	Neat
G	Gorgeous

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

School Starts

2004-07-11T23:54:00.000+08:00

Yeah...i'm actually excited to start sch.Everytime i come home i'm like 'today is so fun' but i end up not entering journal cuz i'm so bloody busy with everything.Stuff like MRS CHU:"remember girls STIG-MA is the female part of the plant.NOw repeat after me,'STIG-MA'"
CLASS:"STIGMA"(giggle,giggle)
MRS CHU:"GOOD!, Now remember the female part is the stigma Stivk to de ma ma"
I:WAT THE HELL (lol)

One other things i drag is deadlines!I hate them!Counting frm today i hv 66 days left only!omg I just realised 10 days has passed frm when mr tan told me abt the dateline so fast..I really want to get it done n over...i dunnoe whether i'm giving myself excuses but gym is taking up too much of my time i train evryday till night then i reach home.Slump on the bed told myself take some rest then do my work.In the end i end up not doing wat i want to do.i'm so tired everyday i can't even lift my forks n spoons.Worst of all i hv INSOMIA!! i cant slp!
so i made use of this sleepless times to do my work then nxt mornig in sch i keep knocking off.And i realise what a perfectionist i can be just one stack of work i can take up the whole night.Crap right .

I think that day when i was toking to maureen i think god send her to me to kill my heart knowing the cold truth might hurt but at least i can face tat jerk coldly no feelings and heartlessly.I'm still feeling cheated.

During this weeks ME class they were toking abt "attentive".In my mind i was like oh gosh another boring lesson abt y we shld pay attention i n class blah blah blah.Guess wat?! i was wrg.She actually told us abt this article of this couple who just got married for the sake of marrying then after their getting a divore and there was a phrase which goes something like "opposite of love is not hate,yet it is indifference"
this couple just suddenly just felt like they cannot take each other they just didnt care anymore.

Haha irony or no irony.Life is scary things cld change ov one night love life death family.

typing in the middle of night with my dog on my lap signsing off

Schools gonna start!!!!

2004-06-24T22:01:00.000+08:00

Haha bet most of u are excited.I'm not.I just hate thinking i hv to go face those heartless insincere ppl.their so full of crp sia.Besides them i hv to face pressure.

I seriously dunnoe where i am heading now.I hv lost my sense of direction n tat will to do well.Izzit my mentallity,Or something,I just feel like giving up.Seriously i really wonder how does those hardworking ppl keep it up.

THE worst thing is my art!I dunnoe what to do and i hv no time to go se mr tan.HEs so gonna kill me.I really want to get things done but theres just so many distractions *excuses excuses*

Ps:what shall i do ?

Fish pond

2004-06-22T22:47:00.000+08:00

Yar i just bot a whole lots of goldfishes * oh no ade's up to it again* yes i am.Its my dad's fault.Then my mum itchy fingers go buy 2 kois and put together.Nvm.Then my dad PMS sia just becuz i put 2 kois into his ponds of goldfishes he wanted to turn the hse upside dwn made a hell lot of noise.HE threatened to throw the fish pack his bag n leave if i dun get that 2 fish out of his little precious pond what a ass rite.Its just 2 kois right,cant he just pity them and give them a home.Now the 2 kois are so stressed living in that small tank of mine they refuse to eat or swim.So poor thing right.

Wat a ass pple can be in order to achieve near perfection.

Circle of Friends

2004-06-20T00:33:00.000+08:00

This few days i went salsa pubbing like mad.Luckily i hv kind eugene to fetch me home if not i hv to spend bombs on taxi.Thanks dude!!!Out of nowhere i suddenly hv this friends who salsa n mahjong so now i got plenty of kaki..lol their really nice ,fun,humourous ppl.

I stayed ov at chars place we both were trying to do up our blog it was such a tideous processcutting and pasting the photos,and making it blend into the background.You know that stupid photoshop.Cutting out the image is brain stressing.

i hv nth much to say.i just feel damn empty now
dunnoe wat i am doing no direction nth to look 4wrd too
haiz

The crush

2004-06-15T00:36:00.000+08:00

ar y am i so crazy ov this guy.He's not cute he's short and i know nth abt his personality and the biggest obstacleis that hes 29 ,30 or even 31...shit right even if i like him what are the chances a guy this old wld like me right.I think hes intrested in Faye though.

This is like going back to age 11 to 14 where me n my friends were still going thru the stage of crushes and gossiping abt the guy.Treating this guys like things we only see once in a blue moon,some rare gift given by God.Does guys or gals really need each other to live.without man ,women wld be happier but with a man is when womens life gets its excitement.Man w/o women the whole world wld be a mess men wld hv starved and worked to death and population wld probaly shrink due to their weak SY sperms but with women they get stressed they get worries w/o us they problay be doing "it" to themselves everyday lol.

What is happiness.Why does god have to make things so complicated and beautiful that every human wants to get a taste of it.why couldnt he just give us satisfaction and peace and exclude love w/o love.

Wld ppl be happier?

2004-05-28T10:59:00.000+08:00

BIG Phenomenon

OMG i think i would hv a club phobia after this. This girl from my CCA , had her club crashed onto her head. At first i thought was just a little bump but later she started to bleed profusely.
I was like no......i didnt know what to do.Being the oldest there everyone was like asking me then i was still dumbfounded but in the end i called the ambulance.THE FUCKING LINE WAS ENGAGED.how the hell a emergency line can be engaged wat idiots right...I hope alicia is ok though she has chinese o's on monday.Ar!!! so scared ar.....help!!

ps: wish me luck

2004-05-20T22:20:00.000+08:00

Raver Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Issit really such a cold world beyond the walls of my friends and home.Even ppl in sch is so freaking selfish and inconsiderate,i'm totally embarrassed to be in that class i rather be in 5/1 then at least they still have a heart and tot abt others i really hope they participate in the netball carnival i mean its the least u can do for ur sch.Guess wat...they are even intending to skip grad nite i was like what the hell obviously i wouldnt go myself duh but its grad nite whats wrg with this ppl.They are so selfish that they wld not lay hands in any thing to help if it doesnt benefit this ppl.My friend said "oh u think out in the working world anyone wld help u.NO! u help urself'i was like thinking who wants to help a girl like u i wouldnt as i know it woldunt help anyway.GOD! help this pple this people going out into the world like tat are alr born failures!

Everyone is like not going out with me blah i noe its for my own gd but i know my limits better then them .Quite frustrated but oh well i shall perservere and prove them i was right.I did study what.I cannot stand ppl who nags at u when they do not see what u hv done and does not accept ur reason to relax.I dunnoequite irritated by this ppl what is this world coming too where is that thing called love.I dun mean couple couple love but relationships with ppl.Sometimes i just feel this ppl are so ungrateful just because u did something bad to u once they forget all the numerous gd things they did for u.i believe tat no matter how bad the person is there must be some gd it is

To:my shameful classmates excpt for a few